One thing leads to another

The reason people "never have enough" is partly due to clever marketing but mostly because one thing inevitably leads to another. Sometimes I think I must be an advertiser's dream customer because I subscribe to several email "notifications" from online retailers and frequently I click on the links to "shop now" or "save money now". I would save a lot more by not clicking in the first place, but click I do, and the click becomes a browse which leads to an "add-to-cart" which sometimes (but not always) leads to checkout and payment. I'm a spur of the moment shopper and actually my most successful shopping has been done that way.

So last week I clicked, browsed, added-to-cart and purchased (with a coupon code for discount and free shipping) a delightful spring jacket in periwinkle blue, the cross-country progress of which I dutifully tracked. (Inexplicably it spent a full 36 hours less than five miles from my home while it was transferred from FedEx to the USPS so it could be delivered as slowly as possible and thereby justify the free shipping.) Anyway it eventually arrived with the mail. I opened the package, hoping it would be what I hoped it would be. It was, and I loved it. Of course, online shopping does have its drawbacks and one of them is that the colour turned out to be rather more leaning towards purple than blue with an intensity that wasn't obvious in the photograph. No matter, it was a lovely colour and I put it on. Beautiful!

Of course that isn't the end of the story. As I looked in the mirror an inkling of doubt began to grow. That gorgeous colour.... will it go with the much admired new handbag I'd nabbed recently at a bargain price? The bag itself was an impulse buy occasioned by the loss of another bag which I left in a restaurant in New York. It is of a style and colour I wouldn't normally have considered buying but it was only $6 and would serve the purpose. I've grown to be rather proud of it though because everywhere I go, women stop me and say how much they like it! Really, they do! In the course of three days it was admired at the high school, the hairdressers and the mall. So I've grown to love it and want to make use of it until it goes out of fashion.

So back to the jacket. And the bag. They do not look good together. The jacket does not look good with my new royal blue top nor the rest of the clothes in my closet either. The only thing it looks good with are jeans and black or navy bottoms and white, black or navy tops. The bag is a non-starter unless you're one of those who thinks that bold clashing colours look good together, but while I've adopted and accepted many of the clashing colour combinations which were unthinkable twenty years ago, turquoise (with strong yellow tendencies) and periwinkle (with strong red tendencies) are not a happy couple.


One thing led to another and within the hour I was wearing both the jacket and the bag (if one wears a bag) and set forth to find a couple of T shirts to go with the jacket and a replacement bargain bag for use with the jacket. I managed to visit five different shops in the space of an hour and a half and found hundreds of bold and brash bags in every colour and price but nothing I liked as much as the one I had. I couldn't find any tops either. Then I went to BJs and to my surprise I found two very nice shirts for $6 each: one white and one periwinkle which was a paler version of the colour of my jacket! What luck I thought. Until I got them home and tried them on and found I could only button them if I pulled and breathed in. Not a pretty sight.

So the quest continues, but until I have some success I shall wear my clashing jacket and bag, because I need them with me to compare colours in the shops.

When did I go out of fashion?

Somewhere between getting married at thirty-five and my eventual emergence out of nappy-changing and pre-school runs I lost my sense of style. When I started rediscovering myself after the children were all at school and I was looking to move out of the sweats and jeans, I found myself drawn back to the fashions that I had been wearing in the early 90s - except that by that time the rest of the world was in the mid- 2000's. Even then I didn't recognise that there was a problem because I naturally steered clear of the obvious teenager clothes, but being by that time a 'plus-size' lady I was definitely looking at more matronly styles, although I didn't realise it.

I've been in America for sixteen years now and I can tell you that there is a big difference between American and British fashions. At first, when I thought I was doing all right with my clothing choices I favoured Alfred Dunner. The styles fit me, the colours suited me. But why could I only find a few places to sell them? Then a couple of years ago it hit me - those fashions are made for the more 'mature' woman and of course, I wasn't ready to be relegated to those ranks. But wait - is the 'mature' woman old enough to be my mother or young enough to be my friend? Or either? Or both?

My dilemma continues. I am not, nor ever have been a fashionista - fashionable styles have usually been too 'skinny' for me, but without having to try too hard on the occasions when I've wanted to dress up I've usually been able to find something to wear that hasn't made me look frumpy. If I'm honest, the only places I look for clothes are Target and Walmart because both stores are within a couple of miles of home, and because my budget and fluctuating weight will not allow me to buy anything more expensive or of better quality. That, coupled with the 'plus size' limitations means that the clothes I wear have become very boring. What's a fifty-something to do in this situation? I have two sets of contemporaries to look to for fashion guidance: those who have children the same ages as mine, and my friends who range between ten years younger and ten years older than me. But do I like their clothes? Would their styles suit me? Do they even wear fashionable clothes? What's in fashion anyway?

Yesterday I did a big clean-out of my closet and removed all clothes which were:
* too big (yea!)
* too old
* too shabby
* too ugly
It didn't leave me with too many clothes, actually, but it did prove a point. I had one sweater that I've worn faithfully for seventeen years which I didn't notice had become faded and a little frayed. It must have been of superior quality to what I've been buying in recent years though. However, now I need to shop again and I am uninspired.

I've spent the past few years wearing nothing but trousers, and the past two or three years wearing mostly black. A typical outfit for me consists of black trousers, a Black T shirt or turtle-neck sweater with something of colour over the top, or a coloured T shirt or sweater with something black over the top. Never more than one colour and always two items in black, or occasionally another neutral. All this with sensible shoes, of course. I admit I'm now getting tired of this look and I am looking for a change, which is where I came in at the top of this page. I've lost my sense of fashion.

I can't and won't compete with my teenage daughter (heck I don't even understand the names of the garments she wears and I certainly wouldn't be seen attempting to wear them), I can't afford to buy anything but sale items from J. Jill, Coldwater Creek, Talbot or Chico (which doesn't even do plus sizes, no no idea why I even mention it). Even when I look there, I can't seem to find much to excite me to make me wish to add it to my wardrobe.

I am getting older, no doubt, but I'm not dead or retired yet. I have a young family and I want to be active and up to date for as long as I can. Reducing my size from Plus to Normal will certainly help - perhaps that alone will open up some fashion possibilities for me, but until then, it's flappy trousers and tops until I can find something new and refreshing to invest in.