My parents were taught to respect and obey authority. They had to. During the depression their lives depended on hard work and freinds, family, neighbours and strangers helping each other. Jobs were scarce. If you had one, you took care to make sure you kept it and that meant working hard, doing as you were told, being respectful and pleasing your employers. During the war, it became even more imperative to be obedient, honest, and above all, unquestioning. If you were told to jump out of an aeroplane, you jumped. If you were told to jump into the ocean, you jumped even if you couldn't swim. Just to be clear... none of this had to mean compromising your principles (as long as you could afford to have principles) or your morals (unless your life literally depended on it).
So now we live in what I fondly call the Oprah era. Not that I blame her personally or entirely for this new selfishness that is pervading our society, but I do remember some ten or so years ago, on one of her shows she was telling the women in her audience over and over that it was "OK" for them to take time out of their busy lives to do things for themselves. And indeed it was.
So what's changed? The children of those busy mums who started taking time out for themselves were taught by their mums that they needed to take care of themsleves and their own needs. They forgot to tell them that they still had a responsibility to take care of others first and that making time for themselves was not supposed to be the only thing! So when the mums have finished teachning their daughters that it's ok to have fun, to "be what you want to be" and "do what you want to do" they suddenly find themselves with selfish teenagers who think they are the queen of all and that nothing matters but them!
The difference between taking time out for yourself and living your life just the way you want it is the difference between a well-balanced, well-organised society and sheer self-centered anarchy.
What is to be done about reversing this trend? Because reverse it we must. The fundamental lessons that must be taught now are:
- That other people's needs should and must come before our own. Period.
- That everyone has a right to live without fear, loneliness or pain.
- If you get to "follow your dream" for even one single day, you have achieved something.
- That being the best is only achievable by one person and that probably isn't you.
- That you are not special to anyone except yourself and those that truly love you.
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