Losing Touch

Among the many thoughts that have meandered through my mind recently was a feeling of being tired of being in America and surrounded by Americans. I even said it aloud, which was unfortunate because I have an all-American family and many American friends. Such statements are usually at the tip of an iceberg of thoughts that swim in and out of being and gather together in a hidden mass. I'm not so much tired of being here, as being separated from British culture - of being 'in' with the current slang and trends, for example.

British people enjoy wordplay, like to mimic accents and create clever catchphrases. They find humour in almost everything and once a saying or phrase has taken hold, you hear it everywhere. Sometimes it will be a direct lift from a television programme; sometimes it will be a pun-loaded headline from a tabloid newspaper, or it might be an unfortunate quote from a politician or celebrity. Everyday slang has its own evolving vocabulary which, with technology, is spreading globally, yet each country retains its own distinctive flavour. There are so many words which have entered everyday speech in Britain since I left sixteen years ago that I now sometimes have to ask for a translation.

I used to laugh a lot. There was always someone with a humorous comment and I was often quick to respond in the same vein. I'm not a comedienne but like some comedians, I need a 'feed' in order to make my own witty comeback, and join the banter. I so enjoy my visits from old friends and relatives and I despair of the lack of humour in my own family so much that I sometimes feel like an alien in my own home. I gave up making jokes many years ago when I got no response or a puzzled silence and funny looks. It truly depressed me. I know I would have returned to England back then if I hadn't been married with children.

What is it that prevents people from finding something to laugh and smile about when things aren't going well? I grew up in a home where the old wartime sentiments still had a place. Put on a happy face. Smile and the world smiles with you. Mustn't grumble. Even when we were at our saddest we found something to smile at. Some feelings were suppressed for the good of the family and community. Have things changed all that much? I think so. I thought we were all supposed to do what we could to make life better for other people by smiling, being cheerful, helping people and being considerate. Who changed the rules? We now live in a "self first" culture which is teaching children that they don't have to do something if they don't want to and that makes them selfish and a parent's work all the harder.

I miss being British in Britain. I'm taking the two youngest children with me to England but I don't want to deal with their fussy eating and their disinterest in seeing and experiencing new things. I find myself issuing daily warnings about how they ought not to behave when we go for our visit and I promise them that we will visit some places they would like to see. I don't think they know much about other countries and cultures (except what they've learned from us). At their ages I had a list of places I wanted to visit in the world, but they have the internet. What's the point of going all that way to see something they can "experience" in the living room? This is what I hear: 'Do they have cable?', 'Do they have internet?', 'Are we taking the laptop?', 'Can we take both laptops so we can have one each?' 'How can I charge my iPod?' 'Don't forget the DS charger.' 'I don't want to go on a plane.' 'I don't know what I want to do.' To be fair, I've also heard cheers at the prospect of meeting their cousins for the first time and a trip on the London Eye. They will absolutely enjoy the visit if they keep an open mind and get their heads out of the electronics!

We plan to spend a few days in London and that will include the London Eye and the Tower of London. I'd like to add the V&A and a river trip to Hampton Court Palace. I want to let them see the horseguards, Downing Street, Buckingham Palace and Madame Tussauds. I love London and this is an opportunity we won't have again for a few more years. I'm lucky that we can do this and I'm excited to be able to go!