Living it

The best way to write an interesting blog is to live outside cyberspace for a while and write about your experiences. This is called "Living in the Real World". I know many people who do this all the time; remarkably, some do it all the time and for those people, cyberspace is still unexplored territory. Other people are relatively inexperienced in the Real World lifestyle, so they and those who have yet to try it at all, may take today's blog entry as a primer as to What to Do and How to Cope.

This morning, my first excursion into the Real World required me to put on a coat over my pyjamas and take out all the rubbish and recycling. I soon realised that I was a little under-dressed because my fingers began to feel like icicles, and about as flexible. So the first lesson of the day was: Before venturing out into the Real World, always remember to wear appropriate clothing because those little flakes of snow can feel pretty cold. It took another hour online to recover and so I decided to take things a little easier for the next task. This required the use of Special Equipment, but could safely be accomplished in pyjamas. I left the comfort of my kitchen to Clean the Bathroom. Usually I spend only a few minutes at a time in that room, away from the Internet, but this visit required me to spend the better part of half an hour in there. Admittedly this can bring on panic in the inexperienced adventurer but I have done this many times before, so apart from needing a little routine recovery time afterwards, I completed the task unscathed.

In the early afternoon I was required to "chat" with three-dimensional humanoids half my size and one-fifth my age. They are a remarkable invention, requiring no batteries or chargers. They walk and talk, interact with each other and occasionally with other, bigger models. Often their communications make little sense, but from time to time a word or two can be distinguished by which they express their need for recharging, or "feeding". The creatures are called Boys and this afternoon they wished to be entertained by being conveyed to a Movie Theatre and thence placed in seats for two hours whilst watching the activities of other humanoids whose likenesses have been captured on film. This does not require interaction so if you decide to participate in such an activity yourself you might be well-advised to take some kind of communication device with you to avoid "Idleness of the Fingers". Portable keyboards can be purchased for those who must blog everything they do as they do it. The movie today was "Paul Blart Mall Cop" which tells the unlikely tale of the existence of human life forms visiting a giant "Real Life" Amazon store with little sub-stores within it. Rather than pictures of items to be purchased and placed in virtual shopping carts, people may actually handle the merchandise before buying and with no shipping costs incurred! Purchased items are then placed in bags to be taken home by the customer in her own vehicle. This proves that all goods do not have to arrive in a UPS truck. Anyway, the movie was OK - lived up to the critics' reviews but fell below the expectations I had, based on reports from people I know.

My return to virtual reality didn't occur until after dinner at Friendly's, but I was able to remain calm throughout the meal by playing video games on my iPod. Now at last I'm back in my cyberhome, having had some small adventures in the Real World, and hopefully will be prepared to meet the challenges of Laundry and Grocery Shopping tomorrow.

Logging off ;-)