Saturday, March 17, 2007

A new resolution

I have come to a realisation this morning. I have been feeling sad and depressed on and off for many months now and being me, I self-analyse all the time. I think that's a habit I got from m mother. The root causes of my sadness are:
  • that I don't always feel happy at home
  • that I have been living in the past for two years, tracing my family history and making it my life's work to record everything I have learned and everything I remember - and being frustrated at the time it takes.
  • that I will never get over the deaths of my parents (and it's been 36 and 21 years since they died).
I therefore resolve to put aside all my family history work. I'll give myself a month to file and sort everything so that I or someone else can pick it up at a later date and continue. Then I'll start spending my time in the present, and enjoy my children while they're still with me and I am with them.

I shall take up painting again and enjoy my family more.

I shall spend less time wandering aimlessly around the world on Google maps, re-tracing the steps of my youth, and more time outside walking the dog.