What to do, what to do, what to do...

I hate being on the horns of a dilemma. I seem to be debating between Options A and B in several matters these days and it gets harder to be decisive because so many other elemets come into play.

So.... Colorado. Do we all go? Does DH go and the rest of us stay? Does DH go with one child?

My job. Do I keep it and spare church and pastor the hassle of finding a replacement who doesn't know anything? Or do I give it up and allow myself more time for home, family and my own interests?

How should I prepare myself for the prospect of spending a year holding down the fort with DH almost 2000 miles away? Should I look forward to a year of being in control of the remote, being able to put things where I want them and making some quiet little changes to the decor without seeking approval? Or should I figure out how on earth I'm going to survive as a parent the first month without him?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....

And there you have it...

We are having a spiffy time at the moment trying to keep up with the pace of life. At the advanced age of fifty-two years and eight months, my sleep is often reduced to four-six hours which necessitates the taking of a nap during the day. Hah! In my dreams! In reality I get up at 5:45am and am on the go for as long as I can manage to stay awake at night. Having had a good night's sleep, despite having a cold, today I have news to share and a further commentary on the joys and perils of living with a loved one who hates one.

DD1 has another prom invitation. On Saturday we went out shopping for a prom dress which she is buying for herself this year. I shuddered at the cost of the dresses, and when she tried on a dress costing over $500 and said "I don't care about how much it is, just if I like how it looks" I realised that she was, perhaps, living in another world from the rest of us. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to afford what we need and some of what we don't need. I don't consider myself frugal but I don't spend excessive amounts of money on myself either. I'm always on the look out for a sale and a bargain and I cringe at the thought of overpaying for anything. Wedding dresses and Prom dresses fall into the 'overpaying' category.

We are both hated by DD1 when life doesn't go her way. If she asks for (and gets) what she wants, all is well. When we ask for a small boon or favor, we are told "I don't have to do anything because I'm hardly ever here" or "I only live here because I'm forced to live here" and "when I'm eighteen I'm leaving because you aren't going to pay for my college because you won't even pay for car insurance so I can drive". We know our place and we humbly withdraw to it.

And now the news. DH has received word today that he will be going to Colorado on Sabbatical for almost a year, beginning in the summer of 2010. I'm very happy for him, because I know he wants to do this, and he most certainly deserves a break to do what he really enjoys in research. I wish we could all go, but it simply isn't practical with the kids being the ages they are, so yours truly will be holding down the domestic fort and will be single-parenting for much of the time. We will most certainly miss him but there will be visits back and forth between MA and CO so perhaps it will be bearable. My ostrich tendencies prevent me from looking too closely at the realities and facing up to the future so at the moment I'm able to imagine that I will be able to ride the waves. Or not.

Sometimes life gets in the way of blogs

know I promised a sequel to the 'sweet sixteen' drama, but truth to tell, it didn't actually get much more dramatic than that. In the run-up to the day of the party, it became clear that no preparations were going to be made if I didn't make them. It's fair to mention, however, that the party fell at the end of the high school exam week and DD1 was studying.

I was pleased with the decorations and the display board I created for her. I left her only to find a way to play music. That turned out to be the one thing that was really rather inadequate. We have a 19-year old Pioneer midi system with record deck, double cassette deck and multi-disc CD player. It was purchased when mini-systems started to become popular, but I wasn't convinced I wanted to live without a record deck, and I had always wanted a Pioneer, so I was happy with my purchase. The problem now is that the system is incompatible with iPods. Whereas I went to parties armed with a pile of my best singles (45s) or a couple of cassettes back in the 70s, these kids all showed up with their iPods, and all we had to play them on was an iHome clock/radio. Hmm... Anyway, it didn't seem to matter because when they all got here, they stood talking for a solid two hours instead of dancing.

So, the guest of honor (or hostess) was absent from most of the preparations and decorations and absented herself from a lot of the cleaning up afterwards, but it was no more or less than I expected and overall it was fine. The party itself was very successful in no small part due to the very excellent entertainment supplied by Dan Candell, the hypnotist and mind-reader extraordinaire. He absolutely had them all in the palm of his hand and had to be seen to be believed. He says he was only twelve when he first became a hypnotist and now at the ripe old age of 22 he's a professional entertainer. I invited two neighbor-friends to come and watch the show - their own kids had told them all about Dan, and they were as enthralled as the rest of us. I'm glad we allowed DD1 the party she wanted. It was fun.

A week later it was DD2's thirteenth birthday, and of course in some cultures that is also a big milestone birthday. We tried to make it fun and special, but without the party. We went to see "Tooth Fairy" - not a great movie, but I enjoyed seeing Julie Andrews, Stephen Merchant and Billy Crystal. Later this month I'm taking her to see Cirque Dreams at the Hanover.

In addition to the birthdays, it was a strange and difficult week at the church. I am a church secretary and I share the job, in part, with DD1 who gets paid handsomely for her work. The incumbent pastor of almost 34 years retired on the 31st January so the last week was spent trying to tie up loose ends and preparing for his last Sunday. The Sunday service was emotional, and it was followed by a reception in the hall. The rules for retiring and departing pastors is that they must sever all connections to the parish in which they have served, although they are allowed to retain friendships. However they must stay completely out of church affairs and may not even visit without permission from the replacement pastor. That's really tough.

Since Sunday, I've had a very strange week getting used to things being different. Old Pastor was fun to be around and we laughed and talked about Apple products more often than not. His door was always open and often we would call out to each other from one office to the other. I'd hear him laugh at something on his computer and would have to find out what it was, and he would do the same. I really enjoyed working with him and I find it so difficult to adapt to a new person in his office. New Pastor is an "intentional interim" so he will only be with us for a few months and I daresay I'll get used to him. But now the office door is closed and I have to knock. I am tired with all the explanations and orientation and to cap it all I've had DS at home sick for three days, DD1 for two days and DD2 refusing to go to school and creating problems on Tuesday.

All in all it's been a busy and life-changing few weeks. Who knows what the next drama will be!