It's that time of year again and once again the dreaded fundraisers have come around. The schools are pushing Entertainment coupon books with pies and magazines in the near future (ds) and the Girl Scouts are hawking nuts and magazines (dd2). Meanwhile we have to pay a $100 participation fee to the High School to allow dd1 to be in the musical and $50 to the middle school to allow dd2 to be in the 'select' choir. All this comes only weeks after spending $200 on supplies for three children, new outfits for the first day back (kept to a minimum) and $300+ on ballet classes for dd1. Oh yes... we also had school photos in the first month of school. In a few short weeks it will be Christmas and even more expense. This time of year is hectic enough without all this.
I dislike the selling-for-reward type of fundraising and would like to know what the kids actually learn from this. Even the Girl Scouts! I was a Brownie, Guide and Ranger (at odd times, not continuously) in England and fund-raising of this sort was something we never did with the exception of collecting or raising money for a charity. When dd1 wanted to join the Girl Scout Cadettes I thought it would be worthwhile and she would learn some useful skills and have some fun, but after the first meeting she comes home with fund-raisers! She couldn't even tell me what they were raising money for, but said something about money for a trip to Disneyworld (where are the frowny-smileys when you want them?).
I hate to be one of those "in my day..." people, but I thought Girl Scouts was about learning useful skills, service to the community, becoming self-sufficient, and being helpful. Apparently not. Apparently they are as self-serving as the rest of them. So far, I am not impressed.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Laugh? I wish I could
I think I've lost the ability to laugh. I hate to dwell on what I used to be and what it was like in my family of Mum, Dad, my sister and me, but while I remember that there were fights and arguments I also remember that there were as many - if not more - times when we laughed and had fun together. I don't know why I can't recreate that in my own family today. I really don't.
Let me see. When we were on long car trips we all used to sing - mum, dad and us. We sang mostly songs that we all knew and sometimes my sister and I would sing songs learned at school. We didn't sing all the time though because sometimes my sister suffered from travel-sickness which was most unpleasant and was the cause of many a loud complaint from me. We also used to kneel up on the back seat of the car and wave to the driver of the car behind us. We laughed and waved more when they waved back and grinned cheekily if they didn't, calling them a "mouldy old mop" or something like that. In the present day, though, when we are on long car trips, the radio has to be loudly tuned to NPR which has lots of talk that only my husband wants to hear and there's not even a chance to get lost in one's own thoughts, never mind sing songs and tell stories together. The kids are in the back plugged into iPods and DVD players anyway, so the goal (apparently) is to keep everyone quiet and occupied until we get there. Not much fun though, is it.
At home, when little things went wrong, I remember, we might have made a joke of it to make someone feel better, or we'd try to see the funny side. A power failure became an adventure of blankets and torches (flashlights) and picnics in the living room. Nothing (as far as I can remember) was turned into a big disaster unless it was one, and then we'd try to do our best to find something positive to say to raise our spirits. All too often in my home today, arguments escalate, people take things too seriously and dramas soon become crises even if they don't have to be. I even get told I'm not funny when I try to make light of things. These are my children and husband aren't they? So why don't I feel as if I fit in here?
I used to laugh a lot. My mother laughed a lot and my grandma laughed through her whole life. I can't think of either of them without seeing the smiles on their faces and hearing their laughter yet they both suffered tragedy and hardship in their lives and they both had days when they would get angry or upset. The overwhelming memory though is a happy one. My sister still laughs a lot but I often feel depressed and helpless and alone in my own home. I want to be able to tell a funny story and have someone laugh and I want to reciprocate. To be fair it does happen sometimes with the kids so I'm not saying we never laugh because we do. I just wish there was more that we could laugh at together. The one and only time we all laughed at the same thing was when we went to see Blue Man Group. I'll never forget looking along the row at my family and seeing them all laugh together. It's something I'd like to see happen again.
What am I doing wrong? Why am I incapable of turning my home into the warm and happy place I'd like it to be? What am I missing?
Let me see. When we were on long car trips we all used to sing - mum, dad and us. We sang mostly songs that we all knew and sometimes my sister and I would sing songs learned at school. We didn't sing all the time though because sometimes my sister suffered from travel-sickness which was most unpleasant and was the cause of many a loud complaint from me. We also used to kneel up on the back seat of the car and wave to the driver of the car behind us. We laughed and waved more when they waved back and grinned cheekily if they didn't, calling them a "mouldy old mop" or something like that. In the present day, though, when we are on long car trips, the radio has to be loudly tuned to NPR which has lots of talk that only my husband wants to hear and there's not even a chance to get lost in one's own thoughts, never mind sing songs and tell stories together. The kids are in the back plugged into iPods and DVD players anyway, so the goal (apparently) is to keep everyone quiet and occupied until we get there. Not much fun though, is it.
At home, when little things went wrong, I remember, we might have made a joke of it to make someone feel better, or we'd try to see the funny side. A power failure became an adventure of blankets and torches (flashlights) and picnics in the living room. Nothing (as far as I can remember) was turned into a big disaster unless it was one, and then we'd try to do our best to find something positive to say to raise our spirits. All too often in my home today, arguments escalate, people take things too seriously and dramas soon become crises even if they don't have to be. I even get told I'm not funny when I try to make light of things. These are my children and husband aren't they? So why don't I feel as if I fit in here?
I used to laugh a lot. My mother laughed a lot and my grandma laughed through her whole life. I can't think of either of them without seeing the smiles on their faces and hearing their laughter yet they both suffered tragedy and hardship in their lives and they both had days when they would get angry or upset. The overwhelming memory though is a happy one. My sister still laughs a lot but I often feel depressed and helpless and alone in my own home. I want to be able to tell a funny story and have someone laugh and I want to reciprocate. To be fair it does happen sometimes with the kids so I'm not saying we never laugh because we do. I just wish there was more that we could laugh at together. The one and only time we all laughed at the same thing was when we went to see Blue Man Group. I'll never forget looking along the row at my family and seeing them all laugh together. It's something I'd like to see happen again.
What am I doing wrong? Why am I incapable of turning my home into the warm and happy place I'd like it to be? What am I missing?
Catching up again
Where the heck does the time go at this time of year? One minute it's summer and I'm thinking I have this long strech of time ahead of me to catch up on the little things and suddenly it's practically October (well, next week) and there's Christmas stationery in Staples!
My cousin was over from the UK last week, spending a few days here before heading to the big apple and thence to the nation's capital. We managed to do quite well with a mixture of being at home, meeting friends and sight-seeing*. She arrived Wednesday afternoon and we arrived home a little while after the kids got home from school. They were full of news and were reluctant to get on with homework with a visitor in the house. Later on sunny boy had a soccer practice, after which we sat down for dinner.
Thursday I took Cathy to Old Sturbridge Village where we spent a few hours in the 1830s. This isn't an unusual experience for me because of all the family history I study, but it did make me wonder how the rural New England family of the 1830s would compare with their English counterparts. Later we ran an errand or two and then went home for tacos.
Friday I had a few friends over for coffee - it was nice to reinstate the old coffee mornings, although I won't be doing them monthly any more. We had some much needed laughs and it was good to catch up on some of the neighbors. Later I took Cathy to the Artemas Ward House for more 18th and 19th century experiences and in the evening we went out to our favourite restaurant for dinner.
Not an exciting read, I'm afraid, but we had a very pleasant time.
My cousin was over from the UK last week, spending a few days here before heading to the big apple and thence to the nation's capital. We managed to do quite well with a mixture of being at home, meeting friends and sight-seeing*. She arrived Wednesday afternoon and we arrived home a little while after the kids got home from school. They were full of news and were reluctant to get on with homework with a visitor in the house. Later on sunny boy had a soccer practice, after which we sat down for dinner.
Thursday I took Cathy to Old Sturbridge Village where we spent a few hours in the 1830s. This isn't an unusual experience for me because of all the family history I study, but it did make me wonder how the rural New England family of the 1830s would compare with their English counterparts. Later we ran an errand or two and then went home for tacos.
Friday I had a few friends over for coffee - it was nice to reinstate the old coffee mornings, although I won't be doing them monthly any more. We had some much needed laughs and it was good to catch up on some of the neighbors. Later I took Cathy to the Artemas Ward House for more 18th and 19th century experiences and in the evening we went out to our favourite restaurant for dinner.
Not an exciting read, I'm afraid, but we had a very pleasant time.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Janice is easily distracted
So said my school report when I was about ten years old and it's still true at 52. I can always find something more interesting and absorbing to do when I ought to be doing something else. I would be a terrible self-employer because I'd always find something else to do, rather than what must be done. Having said that, though, if I have a deadline to meet I will meet it. The only time I have ever failed to meet a deadline was in 1976 when I was a student teacher and had to plan a day's lessons (out of my head) and suffered a mental block of gigantic proportions. I went into school that day, burst into tears and told the class teacher that I had nothing planned because I couldn't think of anything! Why, I don't know. It was a simple English grammar lesson for a class of 8 year olds, and I had the rest of the day's lessons planned. It never happened again - I became a master of 'door-handle' lessons* over the course of my career - and let's face it - all teachers have to be able to do that.
So today, I am distracted by the weather (it's pouring with rain) and genealogy. I wasn't going to search for dead ancestors today, but a bit of new information led from one thing to another and so it goes. I should be cleaning the house and doing laundry (is it any wonder I'm distracted?) because I know I don't have much time to get it all done before my cousin arrives on Wednesday afternoon. I also know that I will get it done so I'm not too worried at this point.
Distractions are what makes life interesting and frustrating at the same time and there are times when I have to be firm with myself and do one thing at a time before moving on to another. Multi-tasking is a myth in my world. I can only do one thing at a time and until that one thing is done, it's just one of a thousand unfinished things that fill my head and prevent me from sleeping at night. So now I'm going off to do one thing and then strike it off my list.
* door-handle lesson: A lesson planned as one opens the door to the classroom, and taught as soon as one enters the room.
So today, I am distracted by the weather (it's pouring with rain) and genealogy. I wasn't going to search for dead ancestors today, but a bit of new information led from one thing to another and so it goes. I should be cleaning the house and doing laundry (is it any wonder I'm distracted?) because I know I don't have much time to get it all done before my cousin arrives on Wednesday afternoon. I also know that I will get it done so I'm not too worried at this point.
Distractions are what makes life interesting and frustrating at the same time and there are times when I have to be firm with myself and do one thing at a time before moving on to another. Multi-tasking is a myth in my world. I can only do one thing at a time and until that one thing is done, it's just one of a thousand unfinished things that fill my head and prevent me from sleeping at night. So now I'm going off to do one thing and then strike it off my list.
* door-handle lesson: A lesson planned as one opens the door to the classroom, and taught as soon as one enters the room.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Who needs happy pills?
I have always been reluctant to reach for the medicine cupboard when something is wrong and it's usually the last thing I think of if I have a headache or a cold. Usually the pain and discomfort of minor illness disappears of its own accord in a few days, so I don't think of medication unless it becomes unbearable. However, I'm beginning to understand why people might become addicted to anti-depressants - I've never taken any but there are times when I do wonder if taking a pill would lift me out of whatever it is that makes me feel unhappy. It wouldn't deal with the cause though, so I'm not sure that the short-term relief that comes from a drug would ultimately help.
Do I really need help of that kind? Would therapy help? Let's face it, the power to be happy does lie within, whether we like it or not. I can't keep blaming people around me for upsetting my apple cart, no matter what they say or do (or not), so I must be responsible for the way I respond to them.
I fear I am becoming the grumpy old woman I never wanted to be. I have been changing over the past 17 years and I'm now a very different person. I think it's a result of increasing age and responsibility combined with fewer causes to smile and laugh the way I'd like. I've lost a good bit of my wit and ability to make people laugh and I've become more serious and less confident in myself.
I've started getting worked up over matters over which I have no control, and then hiding away in my thoughts and preoccupations to the exclusion of others, just because the reality is too hard to take. I had a dear friend many years ago who was popular, fun to be with and appeared to be happy, but inside was depressed and frightened and full of self-doubt. Perhaps that applies to more people than we realise. What we see of people is often just an illusion. We see what people want us to see. I just find it hard to hide my true feelings.
If there's one thing that is guaranteed to raise a smile for me, it's my ten-year-old son. Thankfully he's still at the stage where he comes to me several times a day for a hug and to chat about what he's been up to and he always makes me laugh with his jokes and antics. That's got to be better than pills and therapy!
Do I really need help of that kind? Would therapy help? Let's face it, the power to be happy does lie within, whether we like it or not. I can't keep blaming people around me for upsetting my apple cart, no matter what they say or do (or not), so I must be responsible for the way I respond to them.
I fear I am becoming the grumpy old woman I never wanted to be. I have been changing over the past 17 years and I'm now a very different person. I think it's a result of increasing age and responsibility combined with fewer causes to smile and laugh the way I'd like. I've lost a good bit of my wit and ability to make people laugh and I've become more serious and less confident in myself.
I've started getting worked up over matters over which I have no control, and then hiding away in my thoughts and preoccupations to the exclusion of others, just because the reality is too hard to take. I had a dear friend many years ago who was popular, fun to be with and appeared to be happy, but inside was depressed and frightened and full of self-doubt. Perhaps that applies to more people than we realise. What we see of people is often just an illusion. We see what people want us to see. I just find it hard to hide my true feelings.
If there's one thing that is guaranteed to raise a smile for me, it's my ten-year-old son. Thankfully he's still at the stage where he comes to me several times a day for a hug and to chat about what he's been up to and he always makes me laugh with his jokes and antics. That's got to be better than pills and therapy!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Back to school
It's day three of 'back to school' and the kids are still getting up on time and making the bus without effort. Thank goodness for light mornings. So far not too many complaints about teachers, homework or classmates, so they might just be willing to return after Labor Day.
The house, sadly, has been lacking its summer routine of Wednesday cleaning for the past fortnight. Last Wednesday we went to Water Country as our last hurrah of the summer and I never quite got finished after that. This week, despite the children's great start to the school year, I have been suffering from insomnia. I had a semi-sleepless night on Saturday, a night completely without sleep on Monday and another difficult night on Tuesday. Fortunately, last night I slept like the proverbial log and feel ready to tackle the house today. I have to go to WW at 10 (although I could go at 12:30 instead) but with the kids gone so early in the day (by 7:30am) I can start earlier and get much of it done before noon.
Last night I spent an hour and a half covering six school text books (why I buy those 'Book Sox' I don't know, because the school won't allow them). They want the books covered in brown paper grocery bags. Since I use my own bags at the store, I never get their bags and I don't feel I can just grab a handful to take with me, so I bought a huge roll of brown 'Kraft paper' and used that for the books. It worked pretty well, too, I must say, and looked a lot neater.
The cat is keeping us entertained with his antics. Lucy spends much of the time either following the cat, trying to reach his food or trying to escape from him. I had to give Jasper a 'time out' yesterday because Lucy was starting to look very tired of having the cat jump on her. She was pleased to see him when he was released though and by the middle of the evening they were both curled up asleep in Lucy's bed. Having a cat has made this a much livelier place during the day while the kids are at school, which is nice.
The house, sadly, has been lacking its summer routine of Wednesday cleaning for the past fortnight. Last Wednesday we went to Water Country as our last hurrah of the summer and I never quite got finished after that. This week, despite the children's great start to the school year, I have been suffering from insomnia. I had a semi-sleepless night on Saturday, a night completely without sleep on Monday and another difficult night on Tuesday. Fortunately, last night I slept like the proverbial log and feel ready to tackle the house today. I have to go to WW at 10 (although I could go at 12:30 instead) but with the kids gone so early in the day (by 7:30am) I can start earlier and get much of it done before noon.
Last night I spent an hour and a half covering six school text books (why I buy those 'Book Sox' I don't know, because the school won't allow them). They want the books covered in brown paper grocery bags. Since I use my own bags at the store, I never get their bags and I don't feel I can just grab a handful to take with me, so I bought a huge roll of brown 'Kraft paper' and used that for the books. It worked pretty well, too, I must say, and looked a lot neater.
The cat is keeping us entertained with his antics. Lucy spends much of the time either following the cat, trying to reach his food or trying to escape from him. I had to give Jasper a 'time out' yesterday because Lucy was starting to look very tired of having the cat jump on her. She was pleased to see him when he was released though and by the middle of the evening they were both curled up asleep in Lucy's bed. Having a cat has made this a much livelier place during the day while the kids are at school, which is nice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
