Thanksgiving - whose tradition?

It's been over a week since my last entry, for which I can only offer the excuse that nothing of interest has happeend here beyond coughs, trips to the doctor and the usual mundane happenings that occur in a family home. This family's Thanksgiving, however, is not typical of what I've been led to believe happens in most normal American homes.

Being British, I never grew up with the Thanksgiving traditiion. I experienced my first Thanksgiving with DH during our first year together, when I was pregnant with DD1. We created our own traditional Thanksgiving dinner of roast turkey breast, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, carrots and cranberry sauce, followed by apple or pumpkin pie. This is a meal we both enjoy and we do save it for just once a year. It takes a long time to prepare and a short time to eat but we've continued it as our family has grown. We seldom have company because we a) have no family within 3000 miles with whom to share the holiday and b) we presume that everyone else does. (I suppose that this is more typical nowadays than in the past with families becoming more and more separated by distance. For us it has been so for 17 years.)

The reality of our Thanksgiving now though, is that I often feel it's all a bit pointless without friends and family for whom to dress up and get out the best china. When the children were little, it became "wear what you like day" so we even had them in Halloween costumes one year, and they helped prepare the food and set the table and we watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on television all morning. Sadly, that happy phase didn't last long. Things change and kids grow up. The biggest cause for upset to me these days is the fact that DH and I are the only two of the five of us who have any interest in eating a Thanksgiving dinner.

Our three children have become unwilling participants. They don't have cousins to play and argue with, nor do they have doting aunts, uncles and grandparents to fuss over them and say "haven't you grown!". They have no need or desire to dress up, be on their best behaviour or to help with preparations and clean-up. Worst of all, they all hate the food! DD1 likes stuffing, mashed potato and pie. DS will eat stuffing, potato and possibly a single green bean or carrot and he will eat pie. DD2 likes egg nog. That's it. She doesn't like any part of the meal at all - not the meat, not the potatoes, not even the pie. Nothing. This so-called "fussy" or "picky" eating might have been dismissed as a phase when they were under 7 years old, but it's become ridiculous. DD1 is vegetarian, but at 15 puts only enough food on her plate to feed a healthy two-year-old. DS is not vegetarian but dislikes turkey. Of the three, he at least makes the effort to try to taste everything on the table. DD2 is a lost cause at this point. At 12 years old I doubt she's going to change but frankly I don't want to listen to her say the food is horrible and watch her eating a sandwich.

For me, the Thanksgiving meal should be like an English Christmas, without the presents. It should be a social, happy time and an occasion to eat good home-cooked food in good company. In reality, for me, it's just another day with extra work. Nothing to look forward to. I do it because DH and I enjoy the meal, but apart from DH taking charge of cooking the green beans, I do all the cleaning, shopping, preparation, cooking..... and then I get to spend another hour or more in the kitchen afterwards cleaning it all up again and wondering what to do with the leftovers! The kids would just as soon have pizza and watch cartoons or go on facebook.

No. Thankful as I am for the holiday, I don't like Thanksgiving.