This evening has been a little busy. DD2 and DS both completed their homework in time to get 45minutes of sledding in before it was too dark. We have a hill behind our our house, and since we had the addition built we have a rather steep slope coverd with rocks. We've had so much snow this year that the rocks are covere with firmly packed snow and DS and friend have made a super sledding slide out of it. They had to build a couple of snowbanks near the bottom to stop themselves slamming into the trees, but they've been having a great time out there. We're due more snow on Wednesday (6-12 inches are forecast) so it will add to the fun, I am sure.
After dinner, DD2 had to return to school to participate in the 6th grade concert. The first half of the program was presented by the 6th Grade Band, which were amazingly good for 11/12 year olds. The second half was a selection of songs sung by the 6th Grade Chorus, which is comprised of virtually every student who doesn't play an instrument. There are about 200 kids in the chorus but they performed very well. I was quite impressed.
I have now acquired a web page which I'm going to put together soon, and hopefully I'll be able to free up some disk space on my laptop. It's funny how it starts to 'feel' heavy and sluggish when it's got too much data on it. Anyway, I'll keep you posted about that.
I have a lot to do this week - suddenly I know a lot of people who have birthdays at this time of year so I have gifts to buy. cards to send and people to call. I've just heard that UPS is going to deliver DD1's (belated) present tomorrow, but that they need a signature. All they can say is that they will deliver between 7am and 7pm! Not very helpful at all. Ah well.
All for now!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday Morning Blues
Good morning world, it's a brand new day. It's 5 degrees (F), the sun is shining, another major snowfall is on the way and each of my three wonderful children is on his or her happy way to school. Ok well the first bit was true - the kids were not happy, each for their own reasons, but I hope that the rigours of the school day will bring them home less grumpy than when they left.
I've got a busy week to plan and am sending memos to myself so I don't forget anything. I've also become addicted to my ipod. I do everything with it and it goes everywhere I go, sitting in my bag or pocket with my cellphone. No I do not have an iPhone because we use T-Mobile and not AT&T (which is the US carrier for the iPhone). However, the iPod enables me to check my email from the comfort of my bed, play video games, listen to my music and listen to random music on Pandora.
DD2 will be 12 on Thursday and we've planned a last-minute roller-skating party for Saturday morning. Of course this means I now have to come up with some party favours. DD1 had her 15th birthday last week and is planning a boy-girl sleepover. Now I know there are many parents out there who would be appalled at such a thing, and they are welcome to keep their kids at home. I expect the kids to conduct themselves appropriately, and we will be home, if not sitting in the room all night with them. We are definitely not taking any responsibility for any unwanted pregnancies.
I've got a busy week to plan and am sending memos to myself so I don't forget anything. I've also become addicted to my ipod. I do everything with it and it goes everywhere I go, sitting in my bag or pocket with my cellphone. No I do not have an iPhone because we use T-Mobile and not AT&T (which is the US carrier for the iPhone). However, the iPod enables me to check my email from the comfort of my bed, play video games, listen to my music and listen to random music on Pandora.
DD2 will be 12 on Thursday and we've planned a last-minute roller-skating party for Saturday morning. Of course this means I now have to come up with some party favours. DD1 had her 15th birthday last week and is planning a boy-girl sleepover. Now I know there are many parents out there who would be appalled at such a thing, and they are welcome to keep their kids at home. I expect the kids to conduct themselves appropriately, and we will be home, if not sitting in the room all night with them. We are definitely not taking any responsibility for any unwanted pregnancies.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
WELCOME
It is with the greatest of pleasure that I am moving my blog to the present site. Why is it? It's because my poor laptop is bursting at the seams with photos, web files and all kinds of things, so I've decided to move things around and free up some space. This is the first step to that end. My former blog will remain in the same place, password-protected as before. Perhaps I'll do better at updating this one!
All posts prior to this one were imported from a previous blog which were written under a pseudonym.
All posts prior to this one were imported from a previous blog which were written under a pseudonym.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Love and Hate
If Love and Hate are opposites, is it possible to feel and experience one without the other? I like to think I have loved but not to have hated. On things I intensely dislike, I prefer not to sink into out and out hatred, but with love, one would wish occasionally to feel it so intensely that it hurts and thrills all at once.
I can't bring myself to feel real hatred but neither have I experienced intense love, except for odd moments when nursing my baby. Neither emotion can be sustained at its most intense level, it would be too much to bear. Perhaps I'm not alone in feeling fairly neutral most of the time and having waves of intense emotion from time to time.
That' probably the way it's meant to be.
I can't bring myself to feel real hatred but neither have I experienced intense love, except for odd moments when nursing my baby. Neither emotion can be sustained at its most intense level, it would be too much to bear. Perhaps I'm not alone in feeling fairly neutral most of the time and having waves of intense emotion from time to time.
That' probably the way it's meant to be.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Depression?
It seems to me that whatever I do, I am led to a place where I can only weep. I finished my job a week ago and have had a fairly satisfactory week of catching up with chores around the house. But I am lost when it comes to using my leisure time. What I need is something absorbing to occupy my mind and keep me away from my emotions.
Today I decided to finally finish a scrapbook which I started in 2001 but abandoned a year or so later. I found scrapbooking too time-consuming although at the time I enjoyed doing it. So I decided that I could finally finish it and put it away for good but instead I found myself looking for photos which were missing which I thought would be easy since they are only a few years old and the kids are still here but I realised that I have become so fat and old and unattractive that I can't bear to look at myself as I was seven years ago. It's SO frustrating to be so stupidly affected by everything.
Today I decided to finally finish a scrapbook which I started in 2001 but abandoned a year or so later. I found scrapbooking too time-consuming although at the time I enjoyed doing it. So I decided that I could finally finish it and put it away for good but instead I found myself looking for photos which were missing which I thought would be easy since they are only a few years old and the kids are still here but I realised that I have become so fat and old and unattractive that I can't bear to look at myself as I was seven years ago. It's SO frustrating to be so stupidly affected by everything.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
What the heck?
OK so here's the dealio. As of two weeks from tomorrow I shall be jobless. However, I also feel useless and without purpose or function. Despite the time it took up and the toll it took on my emotions, I really miss doing my family history research.
I am completely conforming to the stereotype of the depressed post-menopausal woman. Here is a checklist:
What I need is a new interest. In the past few years have found things to inspire and fascinate me to become absorbed in, but none of them are in the running now, so what is it to be?
We have just booked up a Florida vacation for a week in the depths of winter but I cannot raise any enthusiasm for it. I am very fat and very tired. I want to have fun but I am not sure I can do that any more.
What a crabby old bitch I have become.
I am completely conforming to the stereotype of the depressed post-menopausal woman. Here is a checklist:
- unpredictable moods
- emotions close to the surface
- feelings of worthlessness
- an inability to envisage a future
- a loss of interest in things
What I need is a new interest. In the past few years have found things to inspire and fascinate me to become absorbed in, but none of them are in the running now, so what is it to be?
We have just booked up a Florida vacation for a week in the depths of winter but I cannot raise any enthusiasm for it. I am very fat and very tired. I want to have fun but I am not sure I can do that any more.
What a crabby old bitch I have become.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Back to School
Unbelievably it's been four months since my last entry and apart from the usual ups and downs my mental state is just about the same.
Life has changed a little - I visited my home country for two of the most amazing weeks ever. A lot of people would have found it very dull - all I did was visit friends and relatives, take a few photos in London and troll around the welsh countryside with my sister, photographing gravestones, but for me it was a dream come true.
Finally after that trip, sometime during August, I put away all my family history research and photographs and am ready for a new project to occupy my mind for a while. I have phases of about two years at a time in which the hobby of the moment occupies every free moment I have. I haven't yet found my replacement hobby - perhaps I will go back to painting or writing, or maybe I'll do something more practical.
Emotionally I am still a wreck. I love my family without question but I am such a bad parent that sometimes I feel I do more harm than good. It certainly isn't the fault of the children that the mother can't cope or doesn't know how to deal with problems. I am just not mentally or emotionally capable of being the mother I would like to be.
Life has changed a little - I visited my home country for two of the most amazing weeks ever. A lot of people would have found it very dull - all I did was visit friends and relatives, take a few photos in London and troll around the welsh countryside with my sister, photographing gravestones, but for me it was a dream come true.
Finally after that trip, sometime during August, I put away all my family history research and photographs and am ready for a new project to occupy my mind for a while. I have phases of about two years at a time in which the hobby of the moment occupies every free moment I have. I haven't yet found my replacement hobby - perhaps I will go back to painting or writing, or maybe I'll do something more practical.
Emotionally I am still a wreck. I love my family without question but I am such a bad parent that sometimes I feel I do more harm than good. It certainly isn't the fault of the children that the mother can't cope or doesn't know how to deal with problems. I am just not mentally or emotionally capable of being the mother I would like to be.
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