UPS and Downs

It's F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G here today, again. Well below, actually. The sort of weather that makes you wish you had gloves on after 20 seconds and then after a minute makes you realise that you have two hours of hand-warming ahead of you. I've just had a very filling lunch in my kitchen and have caught up on various blogs, so now I've got a few minutes to add to my own while I wait in hope that UPS will deliver while I'm home. They phoned yesterday to say a signature would be required, so I hope they catch me in.

The day started, as many days in this house do, with my alarm clock waking me out of a deep sleep. This morning it was deeper than usual, having been awake for a little while at 3.30. Since Christmas I have found two things to be especially grateful for in the cold dark morning hours: firstly the alarm clock hubby got for Christmas (thanks G!) which shines the time on the ceiling, nicely in focus for the myopic and perfectly place to be read with half an eye open; secondly, my wonderful iPod (thanks Hub!) which, once I have opened the other eye and found my glasses, allows me to check my email from the cosy comfort of my bed. You might be wondering why that is actually useful, so I'm going to tell you.

Last year our town acquired an emergency communications system which enables them to phone every household and every cellphone in the whole town as well as send out emails to everyone, all at the same time. More or less. Because this system was expensive and thankfully there are few really dire emergencies, it is also used to notify families of school closings or delayed openings in the event of extreme weather conditions. In other words, Snow Days. We used to simply turn on the TV in the morning to see if our school district was listed among the closings for the area, but since they got their new communication system, we get early morning phone calls and emails (in our case that would be three telephone numbers and two email addresses). The High School opens at 7am so the calls usually come by 5:30am - nearly an hour before my alarm goes off. Now, because of my lovely iPod, before going to bed we turn off the house phones, silence the cellphones and when I wake up at 6:20 and look at the numbers on the ceiling, I can check my email without getting up, and if there is a snow day, I can snuggle back down knowing I don't have to get up to wake the kids! We're probably going to have another snow storm on Wednesday so perhaps I can look forward to a lie-in.

So, back to today. The only one happy to hear me say "good morning" was Lucy the Beagle who is always happy to see anybody, especially when she's hungry. The two girls grunted and the little boy groaned. No sandwiches needed to be made today, except for DD1. DD2 and DS, having seen the menu, had decided to buy lunch today ($3 for J and $2.75 for A).DD2 nearly missed the bus again, but made it, DD1 left in a foul temper (without her sandwiches) because she had a test for which she felt ill-prepared, and Andrew just didn't wnat to go to school, and left me emailing his teacher to set up a conference. Hubby suggested again that we take Jamie out of her school without delay and have her go to the local High School immediately, and perhaps that is what she will do. That's for another day though.

After a couple of emails and a phone call with one of the car-pool parents, I went to Staples to buy paper for the church. I think paper has got more expensive recently. I ended up spending nearly $100 on it. The morning's work went well, but I will have to go in again on Thursday for an hour to finish up.

Oh good - the UPS truck just arrived. I'm expecting a parcel containing the girls' birthday presents which I ordered a little too late for DD1's birthday.......

I'm glad he came before I went out. Unfortunately I did a foolish thing... I ordered two of DD2's present, and now that I've opened it, I don't think DD1 is going to be happy with her present unfortunately. I will need to talk to her about it and offer her some options. But that's for later.

Well it's now 2:10 and if it's going to be worth my while popping into Target, I'd better go now. Bye!

Evening Chorus

This evening has been a little busy. DD2 and DS both completed their homework in time to get 45minutes of sledding in before it was too dark. We have a hill behind our our house, and since we had the addition built we have a rather steep slope coverd with rocks. We've had so much snow this year that the rocks are covere with firmly packed snow and DS and friend have made a super sledding slide out of it. They had to build a couple of snowbanks near the bottom to stop themselves slamming into the trees, but they've been having a great time out there. We're due more snow on Wednesday (6-12 inches are forecast) so it will add to the fun, I am sure.

After dinner, DD2 had to return to school to participate in the 6th grade concert. The first half of the program was presented by the 6th Grade Band, which were amazingly good for 11/12 year olds. The second half was a selection of songs sung by the 6th Grade Chorus, which is comprised of virtually every student who doesn't play an instrument. There are about 200 kids in the chorus but they performed very well. I was quite impressed.

I have now acquired a web page which I'm going to put together soon, and hopefully I'll be able to free up some disk space on my laptop. It's funny how it starts to 'feel' heavy and sluggish when it's got too much data on it. Anyway, I'll keep you posted about that.

I have a lot to do this week - suddenly I know a lot of people who have birthdays at this time of year so I have gifts to buy. cards to send and people to call. I've just heard that UPS is going to deliver DD1's (belated) present tomorrow, but that they need a signature. All they can say is that they will deliver between 7am and 7pm! Not very helpful at all. Ah well.

All for now!

Monday Morning Blues

Good morning world, it's a brand new day. It's 5 degrees (F), the sun is shining, another major snowfall is on the way and each of my three wonderful children is on his or her happy way to school. Ok well the first bit was true - the kids were not happy, each for their own reasons, but I hope that the rigours of the school day will bring them home less grumpy than when they left.

I've got a busy week to plan and am sending memos to myself so I don't forget anything. I've also become addicted to my ipod. I do everything with it and it goes everywhere I go, sitting in my bag or pocket with my cellphone. No I do not have an iPhone because we use T-Mobile and not AT&T (which is the US carrier for the iPhone). However, the iPod enables me to check my email from the comfort of my bed, play video games, listen to my music and listen to random music on Pandora.

DD2 will be 12 on Thursday and we've planned a last-minute roller-skating party for Saturday morning. Of course this means I now have to come up with some party favours. DD1 had her 15th birthday last week and is planning a boy-girl sleepover. Now I know there are many parents out there who would be appalled at such a thing, and they are welcome to keep their kids at home. I expect the kids to conduct themselves appropriately, and we will be home, if not sitting in the room all night with them. We are definitely not taking any responsibility for any unwanted pregnancies.

WELCOME

It is with the greatest of pleasure that I am moving my blog to the present site. Why is it? It's because my poor laptop is bursting at the seams with photos, web files and all kinds of things, so I've decided to move things around and free up some space. This is the first step to that end. My former blog will remain in the same place, password-protected as before. Perhaps I'll do better at updating this one!

All posts prior to this one were imported from a previous blog which were written under a pseudonym.

Love and Hate

If Love and Hate are opposites, is it possible to feel and experience one without the other? I like to think I have loved but not to have hated. On things I intensely dislike, I prefer not to sink into out and out hatred, but with love, one would wish occasionally to feel it so intensely that it hurts and thrills all at once.

I can't bring myself to feel real hatred but neither have I experienced intense love, except for odd moments when nursing my baby. Neither emotion can be sustained at its most intense level, it would be too much to bear. Perhaps I'm not alone in feeling fairly neutral most of the time and having waves of intense emotion from time to time.

That' probably the way it's meant to be.

Depression?

It seems to me that whatever I do, I am led to a place where I can only weep. I finished my job a week ago and have had a fairly satisfactory week of catching up with chores around the house. But I am lost when it comes to using my leisure time. What I need is something absorbing to occupy my mind and keep me away from my emotions.

Today I decided to finally finish a scrapbook which I started in 2001 but abandoned a year or so later. I found scrapbooking too time-consuming although at the time I enjoyed doing it. So I decided that I could finally finish it and put it away for good but instead I found myself looking for photos which were missing which I thought would be easy since they are only a few years old and the kids are still here but I realised that I have become so fat and old and unattractive that I can't bear to look at myself as I was seven years ago. It's SO frustrating to be so stupidly affected by everything.

What the heck?

OK so here's the dealio. As of two weeks from tomorrow I shall be jobless. However, I also feel useless and without purpose or function. Despite the time it took up and the toll it took on my emotions, I really miss doing my family history research.

I am completely conforming to the stereotype of the depressed post-menopausal woman. Here is a checklist:

• unpredictable moods
• emotions close to the surface
• feelings of worthlessness
• an inability to envisage a future
• a loss of interest in things
  

I am sure I have more but I can't be bothered.

What I need is a new interest. In the past few years have found things to inspire and fascinate me to become absorbed in, but none of them are in the running now, so what is it to be?

We have just booked up a Florida vacation for a week in the depths of winter but I cannot raise any enthusiasm for it. I am very fat and very tired. I want to have fun but I am not sure I can do that any more.

What a crabby old bitch I have become.